The past 3 years since I have not written a blog post my life began to unfold in a way that was uncomfortable, at times scary. I suffered from anxiety, which led me to having strong panic attacks. One night I woke up in sheer terror, my heart was beating so fast and I was in full panic. My boyfriend at the time now husband was there reassuring me that I was fine, it didn’t help. I almost felt the need to go to the hospital. That year was a struggle emotionally, physically as well. I began to eat unhealthy, putting junk food in my body. I was clueless as to how to healed my self. Over time I got better, but I was not there 100 percent. We moved to a small studio, 2 years ago near hiking trails, and huge mountains. Nature always has a way to heal you if you allowed her. I still was not eating healthy, now consuming soda and eating foods that would make me feel awful. I realize that this was a constant battle. I knew these foods make me feel like crap and yet here I was consuming them. The anxiety was still there but not the panic attacks. I took the responsibility of taking in a dog, she taught me to live in the moment. Truth was I was an insecure person, I came to realize that your dog will reflect what really is going on inside of you. Change only happens if you accept what is going on, stop fighting it. Let it flow out from you. Once you understand that only you put emotion to the thoughts that come from you and only you allow them consumed you. Earlier this month, my sister and I went to my good Friends house in Yucca Valley, CA. He lives 10 minutes from Joshua Tree. It was a surreal experience, seeing the stars at and allowing myself to just be in the moment. Enjoying the company of people that I care about. I began to realize that change begins with me accepting all of my flaws and allowing myself to grow as a human being. I am truly grateful for everything that happened in the past, but I am not my past and I cannot continue to live in the past. Remember to always be grateful for the experiences that allow you to grow emotionally, physically and spiritually as well.
I am just being.
Photo was taken at Joshua Tree National Park.